A night of pee, poop and jail for MTV reality star Abram Boise

Last night (Feb 27, 2011), I began compiling a follow up in a series of blog posts I have about MTV reality TV star Abram (“Abe”) Boise.  They have been mostly centered around his free spirited, fan driven tour for “The Star of Happiness“- a children’s book that Abe wrote and illustrated.  It also included a few other updates about projects and random discussions like Snooki’s novel (see “MTV’s Abram Boise talks success of Star of Happiness tour to not smushing Snooki“).  As I normally would, I hopped over to Abe’s Facebook page to see if he had anything interesting in his status.  What I stumbled upon was something completely unexpected (well, I guess that depends on who you ask).  The status has since been taken down now, but it said something to the affect that Abe had been arrested, not read his Miranda rights, and considered himself well behaved until the police asked him to get on all fours and clean up urine.  I was just as perplexed as everyone posting comments on his status.  We had just spoken a couple of days prior, and this news seemed to take on a tone completely different than the one I had been promoting for Abe until now.

Of course, Vevmo.com caught on to the story and started a thread about it that I read earlier today (includes tweets now deleted from Abe’s Twitter page).  To top it off, the folks at TMZ wrote a gruesome detail of Abe’s jail encounter in Lunenburg, MA that will make you lose your lunch, so read it when you’re prepared.  Plus, fellow MTV reality TV cast mates are chiming in on their Facebook pages and I’m sure in other online venues.

In all fairness to Abe, I did not want to post anything until I had the opportunity to speak to him directly; however, he has declined comment per advising of his attorney.

Here’s my Ifelicious Theory…hence, not fact

I’m guessing Abe was out drinking on Saturday or Sunday night- either for one of his planned promotional bar gigs he’s been doing while on the book tour or just on his own with buddies to unwind.  He got drunk drunk enough to where peeing outside instead of in a toilet seemed like an equally viable option.  Unbeknownst to him, there were cops nearby who saw the act or some local called the cops on him.  They arrested Abe for “two counts of defacing property and one count of indecent exposure after police found him urinating in public.” (source: Digital Spy)

As far as he could recall, the police didn’t read him his rights, and he continued to exhibit angry drunken behavior by the time he was placed in his first jail cell.  Abe peed on the floor in protest.  The police got more irate and tried to force him to clean up his mess.  That upped Abe’s anger another level.  They put Abe in another cell.  He was still pissed off and mouthy.  The cops maced him hoping to shut him up.  Abe probably felt it was excessive, albeit extremely irritating anyway, waking up his inner animal that only has use on extreme reality TV shows during challenge missions, and decided to equal or surpass their excessive attempt to bring Abe under control the only way he knew how- by taking a dump in his hands and smearing it on and possibility tossing it out of the jail cell.  The poop part is what’s been focused on by media outlets and what you’ll read about more than anything else.  I’m trying to give you some more pieces to the puzzle to consider but certainly not in Abe’s defense.

He was released from jail today (Monday).

Why this concerns me <– that’s so Tim Gunn, isn’t it?

Abe’s on a children’s book tour, and I know this is going to put a huge wrinkle in his current plans as the word continues to spread.  Last week, when I asked him about whether or not Abe would want to continue writing children’s books, he responded by saying that he has a lot of other projects he’d like to do.  He also shared a particular instance that he faced while on tour:

“I got a call from one of the schools in Statesboro, and apparently the principal had…found out that I had done MTV, and he saw one of my fights like that I had got into back in the day, and so they called me up like…they didn’t want to risk the possibility of parents being upset about you being at school.  I said, ‘Sure, no problem.’  So the truth is I would rather not have to worry about that.”

Imagine the phone calls he’s certain to get now that this incident happened over the weekend.

Also, we had a conversation about the type of competition he enjoys in MTV Challenges that evolved into a discussion about bar fights.  As far as we know, Abe was not kicked out of a bar over the weekend, but I thought this little snippet was worth sharing.

Ifelicious:  Are you someone who’s been kicked out of a bar?

Abram:  I avoid bars and fighting as much as possible.  I really actually do.

Ifelicious:  Really?  Do you drink much?

Abram:  Well, ya.  I’m pretty rowdy.  My great grandpa was fresh off the boat from Ireland, so I blame it on my blood why I can’t drink whiskey because I’m way too rowdy.

Ifelicious:  Rowdy as in are you an angry drunk?

Abram:  Well, I’m a really happy drunk, but it depends on your version of acceptable is.

Hmm, I wonder if he was drinking whiskey over the weekend.  I will certainly find out.

Uh, what’s girlfriend Cara Maria have to say about this?

Plus, I can’t get out of my mind that while I’d still like to meet him in person someday, the whole notion of shaking his hand would be really difficult.  I might have to require a thorough hand washing in the bathroom, supervised, followed by a round of hand sanitizer.  Just sayin’.  😳

Read all of my blog posts mentioning Abram Boise by clicking HERE.